Positivity.
We hear about it everywhere. It’s the cornerstone of motivational podcasts, sprinkled through self-help books, and plastered on Instagram graphics with pastel sunsets. But staying positive is easier said than done—especially when you’ve lost your job, your confidence, and your sense of stability.
In times like these, positivity can feel like an impossible ask. Yet, finding your way back to it—messy and imperfect as that journey may be—is possible.
This isn’t about fake smiles or wishful thinking. This is about doing the hard work of crawling out of a pit of self-doubt and despair, using tools that are more grit than glitter, applying realistic goals.
When It All Falls Apart
I’ve been fired before. The shame felt suffocating. But no matter the cause, the result was the same: a bruised ego, a dwindling bank account, and the overwhelming question, What now?
My immediate response when I lost my job at E! Entertainment in 2008 was one of denial. "They didn't deserve me," I thought. Then the recession hit, and the job market froze. I sat holed up for a year, bitter and defeated, waiting for opportunities to knock on my door.
They didn't.
The Turning Point
My wake-up call came during a FaceTime chat with my family over the holidays. They did not coddle me. They did not sugarcoat things. Seeing them celebrate together, dining on turkey, made me sit up and say, "Enough is enough! I am better than this self-pity."
So, I picked myself up, dusted off, cut my hair, cleaned up my beard, and soon landed a freelance gig that paid next to nothing and treated us like machines. Two weeks in, they let me go. That rejection stung, but it also taught me something: resilience isn't built by waiting for a break. It's built by creating one.
Blogging as a Lifeline
Blogging became my refuge when everything felt out of control. Writing about my experiences felt cathartic, like untangling the knots in my brain one sentence at a time.
It wasn't about the who was reading or, for that matter, if any person was reading. It was about owning my story. But then this unexpected thing happened: it got noticed. Traffic came to my blog. The comments trickled in. I even landed a press pass to all the events at Art Basel Miami (just by asking actually!)
I didn't attend. Flights and accommodations were unaffordable at the time but the recognition meant everything. For the first time in ages, my voice mattered. Blogging reminded me that even in my lowest moments, I still had something valuable to share.
All You Need is Gratitude
Here's the thing about getting fired: It's not just a hit to your career; it's a hit to your ego. And your ego? Loudest critic, sneakiest saboteur. You don't need it. All one needs is gratitude. Heaps of it, right from your very soul.
For months, I told myself I wasn't the problem. The industry was unfair. Management didn't "get me." That mindset kept me stuck. The turning point came when I stopped pointing fingers and started asking tough questions:
What could I have done better?
What can I do differently now?
What should I be grateful for?
Acknowledging my role wasn't easy, but it was freeing. It shifted my narrative from victimhood to accountability, and that shift made all the difference.
The seeds of gratitude started to grow.
I highly recommend a road trip across the US to clear your head (Fairhope AL; Bruno Steel House, Lubbock TX; pit stop leaving Austin; Hoover Dam)
The Long Road Back
Staying positive isn't about ignoring reality. It's about choosing-to face it head-on, however begrudgingly at first. Here's what helped me rebuild-brick by imperfect brick:
1. Blog It Out
Writing was my way of making sense of chaos. Each blog post felt like a therapy session-a way to process emotions without judgment. Over time, it became more than that: blogging didn't just help me cope; it became a platform to connect with others and rediscover my confidence.
Pro tip: Don't overthink it. You write for you first. You never know who might resonate with your story.
2. Reframe the Narrative
At my lowest, every rejection felt personal. But reframing those moments as opportunities-however forced-gave me room to grow.
Try this: When negative thoughts creep in, challenge them. Are they based on facts or fears?
3. Mindfulness in Microdoses
Mindfulness doesn't have to be a 30-minute meditation. Even a few minutes of focused breathing can help still your mind.
Tip: Practice the 4-7-8 technique: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8.
4. Move Your Body
Exercise felt daunting, but even a quick walk around the block helped clear my head. Science backs this up: movement releases endorphins, the ultimate mood boosters.
Start small: Commit to just 15 minutes a day.
5. Create for the Sake of It
Blogging wasn't the only creative outlet I tried. Sometimes, I sketched. Sometimes, I cooked. Making something reminded me that yes, I was capable of creation--even when life felt cruel.
Pro tip: it does not have to be good; just make something.
6. Reconnect with People
Of all the things I wanted least when everything went sideways was leaving the safety of my cave. Turns out, the more that happened around the greater the sense of lightness of that load.
Hack: Schedule regular calls or meetups to stay in touch.
7. Acknowledge Little Victories
At first, it was the tiniest accomplishments that seemed monumental. Update my resume, get just one freelance gig. They built momentum.
Try this: Break big goals into bite-sized tasks, celebrate each one.
8. Forgive Yourself
Would you slam a friend who was hanging on? Then why beat yourself up?
Tip: Practice daily affirmations like, "I am capable, or "This is temporary." Better yet, "I forgive myself."
9. Get Professional Help
Sometimes, you can't do it alone. A therapist or counselor can offer tools and perspectives you might not find on your own. I consulted with a life coach for a few sessions and it helped me reframe my thoughts and helped me make better choices.
The Bounce Back
Freelancing kept me afloat, but blogging gave me purpose. Slowly, things started to shift. My LinkedIn profile started getting attention. Traffic to my blog grew. I even managed to do some branding work for a friend (thank you Pam & Ann). And then came the email-a recruiter at HSN who believed in me before I fully believed in myself.
One flight and one interview later, I found myself on a new path. The path to Reinvention began.
The Takeaway
Positivity isn't about pretending life is perfect. It's about finding a way to move forward-even if that way feels messy, slow, or uncertain. It's about creating small moments of joy, even when everything else feels heavy.
Blogging taught me that my voice mattered. Mindfulness taught me to be present. And every rejection taught me that setbacks aren't the end-they're just a detour.
Take a step.
Write.
Breathe.
Reach out for help.
And remember to always:
Be grateful.
Brighter days lie ahead-you just have to believe in them, even when it feels impossible.
Phil
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